Be so good they can’t ignore you

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So, I was asked to participate in a curated art exhibit. Two of my Water Colour pieces hung proudly next to 10 beautiful pieces in a well established gallery. Unfortunately, neither piece sold but honestly, my intention to participate in the exhibit was to put myself and my work out there. Maybe they would reach a new audience. Maybe someone who otherwise would never have seen the image would be touched in some way by seeing it. When I went by to pick up the pieces, I asked the curator if she had any feedback from both herself and those who came into the gallery and saw the exhibit. She said simply that I need to do better. Thrown a little off guard, I thanked her for the opportunity and went on my way. But, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Firstly, I was disappointed in the feedback. I was hoping for some constructive, useable feedback. I am always trying new things, new techniques, new perspectives, new concepts…..striving to be the best that I can be, so no shit…..I know that I can always do better. Each time I get behind my camera, I am one more step towards improvement. But what I am most upset about is the way that I handled the situation. I am so disappointed in myself. I didn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t call her out on her less than constructive feedback. I recoiled. I fled. WTH? Now, I am left regretting my actions. Why didn’t I stand up for myself, for my art? I have had a few days to digest my actions. Part of my reaction is ingrained in my very being. I have always felt less than…. In fact, I wear a bracelet on my wrist with a reminder that I am worthy. I am getting there. One day at a time. But, I resort to old patterns of behaviour so easily. I have decided that going forward, I am going to be my own advocate. I am going to try to…no….I am going to stand up for myself and my art. So, thank you for that push towards striving to confidently stand my ground and finally respect myself and what I do. I will keep on being me…..I will keep on striving for improvement and honing my skills and being the best that I can be. I will do better, but not for you lady.

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